Emilie [diligent worker] Lauren [guarded by God]

Tuesday, March 30, 2010


"Trust is the fruit of a relationship in which you know you are loved." William Young, The Shack

I'm starting to realize how true this when we look at love from God's perspective.
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1John 4:18

So if we are loving like we are called to, with agape, unconditional, Christ like love we shouldn't be afraid of anything-including trusting imperfect human people.

It seems to me that if our hearts are truly in God's hands, and we are content in a loving relationship with him, then we have everything we need. I've always felt like God has called me to be transparent. We shouldn't want to hide anything. If we bring everything out into the light, won't the dark things flee?

This is where I get hung up and struggle... when I've trusted people in the past they've let me down. And there humans. There bound too. So it's easier to not trust people, and only trust God who won't let me down....

So where is the balance? Do I trust God 100% and not trust others? And if I'm trusting God, and he calls me to be transparent, shouldn't I trust that he has it all figured out?

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Saved forever

I have this friend. And I love talking to him because he always tells it like it is, and often gives me another perspective on things. When I feel like I need to blow up, be too dramatic, or act stressed, he just goes with it. He questions my theology which brings me to this blog.

Once you accept Jesus as your savior, are you saved forever?

I have always believed that once you accept Jesus free gift of grace, it covers you for the rest of your life, even if you screw up. Christ can only die for you once, right? Once you accept his gift, you have it for life?

But this friend brought up some valid arguments.
Case #1: Joe (I just made up a name) accepts Christ, but later decides he doesn't believe in God and let's Satan win. He stops living for God and starts living for the world. Is he still saved? If he died would he go to heaven?

Case #2: Jim accepts Christ. He knows full well that he is real but decides he does not want to live a life as a follower of Christ. So, he begins to live for the world and its pleasures. Is he still saved? If he died would he go to heaven?

Case #3: Phillip accepts Christ but doesn't change anything about his worldly lifestyle...meaning he doesn't really surrender his life to God. Is he saved?

Does being saved require repentance? If you accept the free gift from God, can you set it down? Or is it like a tattoo... you have it for life?

Does it take a malicious intentional sin to lose grace or your ticket to eternity?

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not sen his son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son. This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God." John 3:16-21

My first reaction.
BELIEVES. It doesn't say repent, be perfect, obey, or any of the above. It says believe. BUT if this believe is the same I learned about in Greek, it is Pisteuo, which encompasses much more than belief. It also eludes to belief, faith and trust. And faith without works is dead according to James... so if our lives aren't following Christ in our works, then our faith is dead, so do we have eternal life? Doesn't really seem like it. Also, sin is unwillingness to trust Christ. So if we aren't trusting God, then we are sinning.

Second reaction.
Men who love darkness because of their evil deeds hate the light. Can we have grace and eternal life without being in the light? Isn't Jesus the light? "Whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God." So, if they believe in God (truth), but don't act like it, are they still in the light? Are they darkness in the light?

Belief: noun. 1. an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists 2.something one accepts as true or real; a firmly held opinion or conviction 3. trust, faith, or confidence in someone or something

 "And if by grace, then it is no longer by works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace." Romans 11:6
Romans 6:5-14
Romans 11:32

I was talking to Chap Clark. He's pretty much awesome. I got to spend a piece of my summer in California with him and a group of 30 other kids the same age from all over the U.S. and a bunch of other rad leaders. Chap works at fuller seminary and is a theologian. I e-mailed him with some of my questions. This was his response.

"the Lord looks at the heart and knows that life is a long journey. its less about when we say we're saved, or when we "fall away," but what happens throughout our life that reveals Jesus' access to us as Lord. Trust that; trust him, and follow him. Let the rest sort itself out."

 I don't know if I'm any better off now than I was before I started writing this...I'm not sure if I have any new answers, or if I could really tell you if Joe, Jim or Phillip would go to heaven or not. But I do know that within a relationship, if it is rooted in love, you will be compelled to obey. So maybe it's more a matter of the state of your heart.

I don't think it's even my job to decide if someone is going to heaven. I guess my job is love. Share with them about my God, tell them about how great he is, about life after the grave, about freedom in Jesus. And it's between them and God where there heart is at.

Friday, March 19, 2010

It is too easy to be so focused on what is ahead that we forget to see what is going on right now. I love how Christina put it at on track, "Why do you want to know your future? Don't you know it will only destroy you?"

Sunday, March 7, 2010


Where do I even begin???
I can't tell you for sure the first time I felt Africa on my heart. Or when I decided I needed to go there or why I fell in love with a continent.  But I can tell you about how my dream began to come into reality.

The first time I had a vision of Africa was in On track. It was during worship and I was in the back of the room as usual when I sat against the wall to pray. I was feel so frustrated with life and the dryness I felt in my relationship with God. I laid my head in my knees and honestly began to just zone out. That is when God gave me an image of playing with a bunch of African children and helping out medically.

This summer has been like none of my other summers. Every summer I plan what I am going to do months in advance and by now would have the entire thing mapped out. But this summer was different. I thought I might work and make some money for college, but really didn't have anything mapped out. Missions had crossed my mind, but I knew we didn't have the money and I didn't want to face the idea that I'd have the opportunity to go and yet not have the ability to go. But as always, God had something else up his sleeve.

I couldn't get Africa or missions off my heart but I didn't even know where to begin. I figured I just needed to make money this summer. That was what was important. One night at on track this man came to speak to us about a fund raising opportunity. He proceed to tell us about his recent trip to Tanzania and how he and a group of engineers were raising money to build a water purification system for this mission. My heart sunk. Africa. Towards the end he told us the ways we could help. The biggest area of need was fund raising and ideas but he also wanted to know who would be interesting in going with him to Africa to implement the system and who would be willing to advertise the cause. My heart leaped. I put my name on the list while coming to the realization that I probably wouldn't be able to go and trying to be okay that this wouldn't happen this summer. Nothing seemed concrete.

On Tuesday I met Dean. Dean is dating this amazing woman Cassie who happens to be like another adopted child of the Wolfe's. Dean was visiting Cass and just happened to be staying with the Wolfe's and hanging out when I dropped off Jess from school. After a few moments of casual conversation Dean proceeded to say, "Emilie, Emilie, Emilie." But the Emilie's were ignored as Steph walked in the door from school and we asked about her day. A couple minutes later Dean proceeded once again to say, "Emilie, Emilie, Emilie." Jill explained that Dean was crazy prophetic and Dean asked if he could speak into my life. Naturally, I said "Go for it!"

He spoke for a couple minutes and its hard to remember everything he said. He started off by describing how intelligent I was that. I get frustrated when people don't get it as fast as me. I excel at Science's and I can Ace that science test and not understand why everyone thought it was hard. And I have two older siblings, very smart as well. At this point, I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped with how smack dab in the center this man who knew me for five minutes described me.

He proceeded to talk about how God would be deepening my well. That my well is full of anointing but God wants to deepen it. That he will turn my smarts to wisdom. That a lot of people  come to me with problems and the deepening from smart to wise would help me to speak to the source of the problem, rather than just the fruit like I had been doing. He talked about how I was a leader and that I should continue to lead small groups. That God wanted me to know that he was proud of me and loved me, and that I was on the right track.

But there was one thing he also said I didn't mention yet: missions. He said that God was preparing a mission for me. That he sees my heart for missions and will take me on missions but I am not called to be a missionary. He doesn't want me uprooting my family to go overseas. Something I needed to hear!

This is when I started to get excited but didn't know where this mission God was preparing would be to or when. For all I knew it could be in years. The day after meeting Dean, I ran into Kevin as he picked his daughter up from the middle school girl small group I lead. Kevin is the same man who first talked to on track about this water purification project in Africa. I asked if they were still making head way on it. He said that they were just now looking into Foreign insurance for everyone who would go on the trip; and proceeded to ask if I was still interested. I said yes!

The next night at dinner I brought the possibility up to my parents. They seemed very opened to it and said if God called me there, they would do their best to help me get there. That night was on track. I told Ian, the leader of on track, all about the prophesy and chain of events. He told me that the two people he felt needed to go more than anything were Ryan and I. :) This is when I got really excited. It just seemed right. Was I really going to Africa?!?

Since, my parents have agreed to forgive the debt I owe them of $200 for my computer if I go to Africa. They have agreed to come with me in a week or so to get the paperwork I need for my passport. I am still praying over the trip, if it is God's will or not. But this feels like it is really it!

Glory to God!