Here I am Jesus. I know I have avoided you the last couple days. I'm upset that I feel like I'm right back in the place I started two years ago. I don't want to do the daunting task in front of me.

God, I've been so disconnected I am not even sure I can feel anymore. Let me really feel, deep in my core, the tears running down your cheeks feel.

Bottom line... I have trust issues. I don't do it easy, and when I do it, I don't do it in the right places or timing. All I can think about is wanting to curl up in your lap and lay there, content for hours. I'm emotionally exhausted.

Abba, I know this will probably be a daily thing, but please take my heart. I give you full permission, every key for every door and cupboard. Take all of the stuff that I am caring on my back. I know that you are much more capable of carrying it.

Why do I get so scared to give everything away? Because I like to be in control. I prefer steering the bike. I can see where I am going, how I'm getting there and choose my own path. But no matter what I decide, you are always in control. Please take this steering wheel. I don't want to fight for it any longer.


Lord,
Take my heart.
Take the bad and good.
Clean it out.
Make it shine.

It's been so lonely, off here in space.
Fear held me back. It chained me down.
These bags of sand are keeping me from lift-off.
There tying me down.

Lord,
Take my heart.
Take the bad and good.
Clean it out.
Make it shine.

My heart is so fragile since these scars made there mark.
I hold it real close and keep it from most.
They all let me down. I expected too much.
Now I'm left here with the consequences to boast.

They've lied, they've left and they've missed out.
And I thought I was all alone,
Just the first to go under the bus.
But you never left my side.

Lord,
Take my heart.
Take the bad and good.
Clean it out.
Make it shine.

So, I give you these bricks I carry so much.
I quit doing your job, the world is not mine.
These body builder shoulders have only left me hurting.
And realizing that I could never do this on my own.

So Lord,
Take this heart of mine.
I trust that you will hold on tight.
It's beaten and bruised.
It's broken and not a pretty sight.
Tend my fields and plow my garden.
Bring new life to this heart of mine.


Lord,
Take my heart.
Take the bad and good.
Clean it out.
Make it shine.

I've missed out on your beauty a little too long. 
Bring heaven down here. Bring heaven down here.
This life is but a glimpse, closed in by time.
I don't want to waste this life.
Bring heaven down here. Bring heaven down here.

Lord,
Take my heart.
Take the bad and good.
Clean it out.
Make it shine.






I'm not really sure where that came from. It doesn't flow like a poem or a song, but I feel like it was exactly what I needed to write out. The words are true from my heart and there just for you Jesus. Please take the weight off my shoulders. Bring me rest. Hold this heart of mine, never let it go. Make me whole, quench my thirst, do your work. I love you Lord.

Meke Aloha [agape]-
Emilie Lauren