Emilie [diligent worker] Lauren [guarded by God]

Friday, December 23, 2011

I want to be characterized as a woman who carries out the calling to go.
God doesn't tell us, sit down, ponder it, and then if it fits with your schedule go.
He says GO.
No explanation.
No doubts.
No questions.
No plans.

He promises his Holy Spirit, his guiding and blessing. He does not say it will be easy or the way will be paved, but he does say that it will be an adventure. One where we trust God and have faith even when we seem to be lost and in the dark.

So what is the calling. GO... but where?
To quote my pastor, I think as human beings it all boils down to this small statement.

We are called to make the invisible God visible.

We are called to shine his light, in even the darkest parts. We are called to be his hands and feet. He has made us more than conquerors. So what is holding us back?

We would seriously put our own personal comfort before letting the king of the universe use us. We are automatically made WINNERS through Christ. WE CAN'T FAIL. But yet, we are scared to leave our comfort zones to let God use us. If we can't fail, why are we scared?

You can choose to step into the greatest adventure and love story ever told. You can chose to be the main character. Or you can enjoy the comfort of where you are at, and miss out. Not only in this life but for eternity.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011


"Stand up and bless the LORD your God from everlasting to everlasting. Blessed be your glorious name, which is exalted above all blessing and praise." Nehemiah 9:5

I am continually baffled by God's grace, faithfulness and love for me. We are EYEWITNESSES to his majesty. I get so narrow focused that I forget to open my eyes to the works around me that God is doing every day.

As a christian, we are called to live with an eternal perspective on life. God has been teaching me lots about this. As I entered an exam for school, feeling under prepared and frustrated with the material, I asked God why he wouldn't allow me to do well and understand the material if it was all for his glory in the end. In a small whisper, I heard, "What if a failure in the world's eyes, brings me more glory than a success." Success in the world's eyes is good grades, money in the bank, a nice car, a good family, etc. Yet God calls us to live for more than grades, give our money away, bring his kingdom and serve him. Success in God's eyes looks far different from the world, yet we all get so wrapped up in meeting the standards of the world rather than of God.

Dwell in truth.

God has called you.
You are his.
He has plans for you.
He will use you if you let him.
Its all about him.
He is faithful.
His love is better than life.

He has provided you with everything you need for life and godliness. [2 Peter 1:3]

His fingerprint is all over my story.
I will not be ashamed of the gifts he has given me.
God has blessed me.
He has made me smart.
I love learning.
Humility isn't downplaying the gifts God has given us- its giving him the credit because he is the one who created us and gave us those gifts.
He has plans for me beyond what I can imagine- I can't wait.
What a beautiful life, what a beautiful story.

We are called to bring beauty and order around us, to enable people to worship.

Joyful always.
Pray always.
Give thanks always.

Intimacy breeds contentment.

"Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God;
may your good spirit lead me on level ground." [Ps. 143:10]

"Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire but you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." [Ps. 73:23-26]

This blog pretty much made no sense, just different jumbled up thoughts on my heart.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Take these hands
I know they're empty
But with You they can
Be used for beauty
In Your perfect plan
All I am is Yours

Take these feet

I know they stumble
But You use the weak
You use the humble
So please use me
All I am is Yours

I give You all my life

I'm letting it go
A living sacrifice
No longer my own
All I am is Yours
All I am is Yours

Take this heart

Set it on fire
Shining in the dark
I wanna tell the world of who You are
All I am is Yours

I give You all my life

I'm letting it go
A living sacrifice
No longer my own
All I am is Yours
All I am is Yours

I give You everything

To You I belong
Every beat of my heart
The breath in my lungs
All I am is Yours
All I am is Yours

I lift my hands up

God I surrender
All that I am for Your glory, Your honor, Your fame

I life my hands up

God I surrender to You

I give You all my life

I'm letting it go
A living sacrifice
No longer my own
All I am is Yours
All I am is Yours

I give You everything

To You I belong
Every beat of my heart
The breath in my lungs
All I am is Yours
All I am is Yours

Wednesday, September 21, 2011


Rereading through a lot of my journal entries, prayers, and the heart of my entire summer I have begun to realize what a great work God did this summer. He truely does have his hand in everything and he only wants whats best for us, even when we don't understand it. I felt the need, or I guess the want, to share some of these lessons, verses and prayers.

"I am the LORD, and there is no other;
apart from me there is no God.
I will strengthen you,
though you have not acknowledged me,
so that from the rising of the sun,
to the place of its setting
men may know that there is none beside me,
I am the LORD, and there is no othere.
I form the light and create the darkness,
I bring prosperity and create disaster;
I, the LORD, do all these things."
Isaiah 45:5-7

"Where you invest your love, is where you invest your life."

My Prayer over Summer:
"For this reason I kneel before [you] Father, from whom [our] whole family in heaven and on earth derives [their] name. I pray that out of [your] glorious riches [you] may strengthen [me] with powere through [your] spirit in [my] inner being, so that [you] may dwell in [my] heart through faith. And I pray that [I], being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is [your] love, and to know this lvoe that surpasses knowledge- that [I] may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Eph. 3:14-19

"Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD." Ps. 27:14

"Dance with me forever,
You and I together,
I will lead and you will follow,
Watch my feet, they will guide you,
Your hand, in mine,
We'll dance through life."

I am so unworthy- but because of your blood- my spot in heaven is saved- my sin cannot hold me back because you are bigger and you love me more.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and all your mind and all your strength."

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us, and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Eph. 5:1-2


"I took you from the ends of the earth, from the furthest corners I called you. I said, 'You are my servant'; I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:9,10

"Break my heart for what breaks yours."

"WHATEVER HAPPENS, conduct yourself in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ." Ph. 1:27a

Indecisiveness/ "I don't care" does not = humility

Truth in Love --> Edify

"I believe the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting our time." -Blue Like Jazz

"Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always." Ps. 105:4

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Put away perversity from you mouth; keep corrupt talk far from you lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze DIRECTLY before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep you foot from evil." Pr. 4:23-27

"Teach me your way, O LORD,
and I will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart,
that I may fear your name." Ps. 86:11

"The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me;
your love O Lord, endures forever- do not abandon the works of your hands." Ps. 138:8

The truth is I am a daughter of the kind and I am loved. In fact, he loves me so much he would drop everything for me. He would do ANYTHING for me because I AM WORTH IT. The lies Satan has planted in my heart will grow NO LONGER. My Jesus is bigger than that, his victory is greater. He loves me and nothing I have done, do , or will do changes that.

"...but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me." Ph. 3:12b

Jesus- Why would you leave your kindgom, your everything, to come pursue me in my little crappy old village? What makes me so special?
"Because I made you! You're a masterpiece! Don't you get that Emilie Lauren. I am your Dad, your kind and I love you! I would give up EVERYTHING for you."

"[Emilie] listens to my voice; I know here, and she follows me. I give her eternal life, and she shall never perish; no one can snatch her out of my hand." John 10:27-28

I have walked before you. I know your steps and your plan. I know exactly what is ahead-there are no surprises for me, I am God. You get scared and anxious for the unknown, you even worry I won't be there. Em- I am there already. I am here. I go before you. I HAVE PREPARED THE WAY MY DAUGHTER. Hold tightly to your truths and cling to me. I promise I will carry you. My love is better than life, continue to seek it. I only have what is best for you in store. Now rest in my grace precious. Rest in the truth that your spot in heaven is already bought and nothing will change that. Focus your energy on loving me, seeking me out. Trust my plans dear one. I left my kingdom to grab your heart. Soak up my abounding love. Keep it close. I would leave it all behind to run into your arms and embrace you. To tell you are worth it because I love you. Hold out for my love dear child. Love, your Jesus.

Take my heart, make it new, make it true, make it like you.
Take my hands, I lift them high, they are yours, not mine to do what you will.

"Em, your sings are forgiven because of my name. Dear one, you know me and I am the beginning of all things. You have overcome the evil one, he has no authority. You my dear are strong, my word lives in you and you are bigger than evil." Rewrite of 1 John 2:12-14

Die to yourself, so I can carry you.

"I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me." Is. 49:15b-16

Em- I am a God of peace- let my peace overtake you. Be thankful. Let my words dwell in your heart. And whatever you do, do it for me.

Do not be afraid to lose a friendship for the sake of loving your king.

My presence is right in front of you. Why not step into it? Don't you see that you are worthy to be in my presence. My son shed his blood and makes you worth to be in my presence. He tore the curtain so you could be with me. Step into my presence.

Hold out Emilie. I promise I am here. I am not leaving you. One day, it will all fit. You will be complete in my arms. I am working on you. Don't doubt it. Seek me, as you are. I am here and I am loving on you. I am right here. Keep your eyes up loved one. You are precious and you are beautiful. I have such amazing plans for you daughter- I know you can't see them but trust me and trust them my dear. Hold out your hand.

I have such a heart for you Em. I am deeply grieved when you hurt. I am protective of your heart and I am jealous for your love.

I love your heart to do what is right. Your seeking of my will. I know you won't always be in my will but I see your heart and my grace covers you. Don't live in fear- fear of doing something wrong- that is no freedom at all, you are covered by my grace and I love you no matter what. Embrace my love and trust me. I have a plan, I promise and I LOVE YOU.

Trust me Emilie. Trust that I will show up. Trust that I will fulfill my promises. I will be faithful. I will never give you too much to handle, I will always be working on you and walking alongside you. HAVE FAITH my dear one. Believe in me, trust me even I seem far. BECAUSE I AM RIGHT THERE. Trust me to fill you with indescribably joy and preace. Trust me to fulfill your word.

I am a daugther of the kind. The authority of heaven and hell LIVES in me. I was created for purposes beyond what I can imagine and WHO can stop me? I serve a BIG, gracious and loving king. I am pursued by the prince of peace. No where can I go away from his hand and his heart.

The Lord will make me like himself.

"All that matters is the reality of who you are before God." -Francis Chan

"Listen to me daughter, hear me Emilie: Before you were born, I called you; from your birth I made mention of your name. I made your mouth like a sharpened sword, in the shadow of my hand I hid you; I made you into a polished arrow and concealed you in my quiver. I say to you, 'You are my servant Emilie, in whom I will display my splendor.'" Isaiah 49

"Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide em; let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell." Ps. 43:3

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trust in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the rock eternal." Is. 26:3,4

"Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you." Ps. 116:7

"But the Lord is faithfuland he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one... May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance." 2 Thess. 3:3.5

"Here is my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen one in whom I delight; I will put my spirit on her and will bring justice to the nations." Is. 42:1

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name, YOU ARE MINE. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Is. 43:1,2

I got a picture of me knelling before the cross with Jesus on it. A light beamed down from heaven on me. With tears, I cried out "not on me, on him!" And God spoke, "because of the blood fo th elamb, you are my glory, my daughter and with me."

"Since you are precious and honored in my sight and because I LOVE YOU, I will give men in exchange for you, and people in exchange for your life." Is. 43:4

"But now listen, O Emilie, my servant, Emilie, whom I have chosen. This is what the Lord says- he who made you, who formed you in the womb, and who will help you: DO NOT BE AFRAID, Emilie, my servant. Emilie, whom I have chosen. For I will pour water on thirsty land and streams on dry ground. I will pour out blessing on your descendants. They will spring up like grass in a meadow, like poplar trees, by flowing streams. One will say, 'I BELONG TO THE LORD'; another will call himself by the name of Jacob; still another will write on his hand: "the LORD's" and will take the name Israel." Is. 44:1-5

"My whole life is yours, I give it all, surrender to your name. And forever I will pray, have your way, have your way."


You have pursued my heart Em. You have diligently labored for my name. You have ran after me. You are my glory. I seek to bless you. Enjoy being romanticized. I created it to be this way. I love you Em. I have whats best in mind for you. Hold out for that my sweet child.


Friday, September 2, 2011

"...I"ll show up & take care of you as I promised & bring you back home. I know what I am doing. I have it all planned out -- plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on me, I'll listen. When you come looking for me, you'll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me & want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed." -- Jeremiah 29.11-13

Saturday, August 13, 2011


Three Answered Prayers

Worship at camp has been amazing. I never knew how much worshiping twice a day could completely change my attitude and my outlook. And now I find it one of the saddest things to see go at the end of the summer.

This week during worship I was seeking out God's presence as I have most of camp, and as I have most times, feeling empty. Afterwards, we all started to pray for the campers and one of the kids praying thanked God for his presence in worship. My immediate reaction was to become frustrated because I could not feel it. But I felt God put this on my heart instead....

My presence is right in front of you. Why not step into it? Don't you see that you are worthy to be in my presence. My son shed his blood and makes you worthy to be in my presence. He tore the curtain so you could be with me. Step into my presence.

Easier said than done, but as I have been seeking Jesus and asking him to make his words real to me, he answered. The Lord is good.

I have been praying for adventure for a while. I thought it came when I was suppose to go to Africa last summer but it was not in God's plans.
Recently, meeting and becoming best friends with a guy from Ireland has opened some doors though. He persistently told me from day one that I would be coming to Ireland. I wasn't sure I quite agreed. Ireland was a whole nother world away and a lot of money. But as I became better friends with him, I wanted to go more, so I selfishly prayed that God would provide and open the doors. In a matter of one week, God provided a job staying at camp for 4 more weeks and my Dad booked the ticket and told me I could pay half of it back over six months and he would cover the other half. I am leaving the country (minus canada) for the first time in seven months to travel across the ocean to Ireland. Needless to say, I'm freaking out and thanking God.

I asked God to speak to me in my devo time.
This is what I heard:

Hold out Emilie. I promise I am here. I am not leaving you. One day, it will all fit. You will be complete in my arms. I am working on you. Don't doubt it. Seek me, as you are. I am here and I am loving on you. I am right here. Keep your eyes up loved one. You are precious and you are beautiful. I have such amazing plans for you daughter- I know you can't see but trust me and trust them. Hold out your hand.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Too Good for Charity

"I love to give charity, but I don't want to be charity. That is why I have so much trouble with grace."
-Donald Miller

This sentence struck a chord with me. I absouletely love to give to people, but I hate accepting things. Even someone offering to pay for my dinner and I freak out, as if I couldn't afford to. Because I do not like recieving an umerited gift, let alone a merited one, how am I suppose to accept God's grace without doing something? I'd much rather be able to say I earned it.

...Too bad it doesn't work like that. His grace is there no matter what. Its my heart which has to choose to accept it. Not to earn it. Just like his love, I cannot earn. I just have to accept it.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Favorite Book of the Bible... Lifes and adventure, right?

DISCLAIMER: This quite possibly could be the most jumbled mess of my thoughts, ever put onto paper... 

So, I know that technically we are not suppose to have favorites, but Ephesians has easily become my favorite book over the coarse of the last couple years. Looking over the pages it covers, it is filled with writing, notes, underling, high lighting... ah, the beauty of a well loved bible. I wish that I could say I loved it more, spent more time digging in, and really living it out.

This passage was the devotion for Bethany's 40 days of Lent devotional and it came at a really good time.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up  according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a live of love just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Eph. 3:29-4:2

How often do the words that come out of our mouths reflect love? Do we really think before we speak? Is all the joking and sarcasm in the world just a cover? Where is the deep, real relationship?

I began to think of who in my life I can call on. Who can I call when my day is crappy? Who can I call when I just aced that test? Who can I be one hundred percent real with when I am doubting God? Or forgetting his grace? When I am beating myself up? Or failing to trust God...

When you die, do you want to be know as someone who live ordinarily? content with the comfortable? or someone who put extra into everyday things? Someone who was never ashamed to serve God, to fall to their knees, to lift their arms, to love.

How much do you have to hate someone to NOT tell them about Jesus and eternal life?
Powerful right?

I was talking to my good friend the other night about living an extraordinary life. Living life as an adventure- just the way it was meant to be. I loved the way she put it... "It's easy. Live extraordinarily. Take an ordinary task...and add a twist. Like...showering? Sing. Write a letter/paperwork? Do it left handed. TALK WITH AN ACCENT! Skip instead of walk. See how far you can run on snow before you fall in :)"

So what perspective are you living your life from? 
Just trying to survive?
Race to the finish?

So what makes your life different? When they put you in a box in the ground, what will you be remembered for?

If there was one thing, that people remembered me by I would hope that it was this simple: loving Jesus. Not doing too hot on this right now but what is life but a huge adventure when we are focused on loving God.

I want to travel, tell a stranger that Jesus loves them, make someones day, cause someone to laugh, bring smiles to the broken, hope to the hopeless, never go to bed feeling like that day wasn't worth it, never waste an opportunity for the extraordinary. I don't want to fear anymore, I want to live.

I want to love.

Saturday, February 19, 2011


I realized something today, or rather a couple things.
I have been sitting around and waiting for God to get my attention. As if he'd come down in chariots of fire and light the path for me with flood lamps. I have been waiting for God to plant desire in my heart. I have been waiting for God to change me. I have been waiting for God to make me fall in love with him. I have been waiting for God to move in me.

There are two things wrong with this picture.

I had given God no room to move in me.

I was not actively pursing God.

I cannot expect God to move in me when I give him no room to operate in my life. God calls us to live a life of surrender. He desires to fill us up with all that he has to offer us- love, hope, desire, calling, joy, fulfillment- but when we give him no room to fill us up, he is left waiting... simply waiting for us to pour out our cup. Our cup is never easy to pour out. It is full of all kinds of baggage. Things holding us back. Dreams, desires, materials, hurts, goals, time, and even idols. But in surrendering all that over to God we find true freedom. Freedom to be exactly what God has created us to be. Freedom to love God. Freedom to leave worry behind. Freedom to seek and pursue God with all that we are. When we empty out ourselves, we give God room to fill us up. But God is a gentlemen. He will not pour your cup out for you. The bible does not say that Jesus will take your life from you... what love is that? It says to lay down your life for him. We must start with actively pursuing God. "Come near to God and he will come near to you." I have lived in a lie that past year. I was so worried that the life I was living was one out of religion instead of relationship that I quit reading my bible, and I quit pursing God. I thought that in order for my pursing God to be from pure motive I had to be in love with God. But how do you fall in love with God unless your pursing him?!? Somebody does not just walk into you life and make you love them. You pursue them, you pursue your relationship with them and you FALL IN LOVE.

So right now I have to things on my heart:


Actively pursing Jesus

.... and through all of this, he is still smiling down on me, his daughter. That is grace and agape.